I am not a conspiracy theorist. I'm not. When it comes to Big Pharm though, I'm a firm believer.
I believe that the FDA made it very difficult for people to get their hands on HCG because pharmaceutical companies make a lot of money because people are fat. It's easy to convince people that it's unhealthy, because 500 calories a day does not seem like a lot, and people don't like the idea of eating such a small amount. The science behind HCG makes perfect sense if you read it, and I have.
I believe that there are viruses and diseases out there that could be cured, but scientists are not working on a cure for them, because pharmaceutical companies are making a lot of money for maintaining these issues, instead of solving them.
I believe that too many doctors are prescribing too much and healing too little, because there are drug reps that visit them frequently. I don't want any doctor who has a strong relationship with a specific drug company.
I believe that obesity is an pandemic that we cannot solve until the majority of food companies and legitimate healing doctors get together to make sure people are consuming FUEL for their body and making that fuel taste good enough that people prefer it. When parents start teaching children the beauty in the word "moderation" and what the word "no" means, then we can build a healthy generation.
The hCG that I have is not working. It is not doing what it is supposed to, because real HCG does not exist anymore without a doctor's prescription. The doctors who have the guts to prescribe HCG for weight loss make sure they get their money's worth, and they charge around $300 per round. Rob has suggested that I get the 'Lose It' app to keep track of what I put into my body. I am considering it. I am also considering an additional appetite suppressant.
All I know for sure is that I cannot keep torturing myself with fake HCG. It's disappointing. It's heartbreaking. It hurts.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
This is Hard
Winning isn't easy, and if it is easy, it wasn't really worth much, was it?
I had a really rough weekend emotionally. It was a lot harder than I'm used to. You know, there are ups and there are downs. This weekend was a really down down.
No cheating, but I wanted to. Food is an addiction. Today, I am 177.4. I have not lost a full pound in several days.
Kayleigh's wedding is coming up. I'm not sure how that's going to be handled yet.
Her bachelorette party is on Saturday. I volunteered to be DD so I'm not tempted to drink a bunch and blow my diet.
I had a really rough weekend emotionally. It was a lot harder than I'm used to. You know, there are ups and there are downs. This weekend was a really down down.
No cheating, but I wanted to. Food is an addiction. Today, I am 177.4. I have not lost a full pound in several days.
Kayleigh's wedding is coming up. I'm not sure how that's going to be handled yet.
Her bachelorette party is on Saturday. I volunteered to be DD so I'm not tempted to drink a bunch and blow my diet.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Losing weight
Oh yeah, I'm still losing weight- 178.
Don't have time to blog too much, but I haven't forgotten about you.
Don't have time to blog too much, but I haven't forgotten about you.
Monday, June 10, 2013
8
Day 8- 181.0
I'm good. Kinda tired from the non-stop weekend, but I'm good.
OOOOH-- Rob found this wonderful drink that I CAN HAVE. It's Fuze Slenderize. They are basically like <5% fruit druice and a bunch of viatamins and water, but they're wonderful and I have not slowed in my weight loss because of them, so I'll keep drinking them.
I'm good. Kinda tired from the non-stop weekend, but I'm good.
OOOOH-- Rob found this wonderful drink that I CAN HAVE. It's Fuze Slenderize. They are basically like <5% fruit druice and a bunch of viatamins and water, but they're wonderful and I have not slowed in my weight loss because of them, so I'll keep drinking them.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
Day 1.
This is a new phase. Except to remember that I have done this before, and therefore I can do this again, the past does not matter anymore. The fact that I lost 107 lbs is irrelevant and the fact that I gained back more than 20 of it mean nothing. I am in control of my weight.
I succeed in EVERYTHING I put my mind to. In December, I will have a degree. In the next few years, I will have straight teeth. I have a wonderful job (for anyone at my age and skill level). I have a cute car that is ages above my previous vehicles. I am ALWAYS advancing in life, and I have no intentions of stopping now. I do not give up on anything (except people sometimes- they suck). I am not finished until I have completed my goal. I will be great. My face will be in a business magazine one day.
This round is going to be hard. I know that- but I also know myself very well. If I didn't know I could handle this, I wouldn't have started. My schedule is packed, as always, but we all know that I handle myself better with a full schedule. It's a lot easier not to munch out of boredom when you don't have time to be bored.
Stepped on the scale this morning. 190lbs. What a perfect way to motivate myself to stop now. I have been slowling easing up to the top of the 180s for the past month. I'm done now. That's enough. I did NOT fight this hard to lose.
One day, in the not incredibly distant future, I may decide that I want children. When that happens, I want my body to be prepared for it. There are so many things that can go wrong with the mother is overweight. I will minimize my chances of having a complicated pregnancy (again, in the distant future) by getting to an ideal weight. On top of that- I will have cute pregnancy pictures one day. I will have children who eat right, because they never knew how to eat wrong. I will win this fight, because I don't know how to lose, and I firmly believe (with everything in life) that you absolutely cannot fail unless you give up.
So, today is Day 1. Not Day 1 of Round Whatever. Today is Day 1 of the rest of my life. I got this.
I succeed in EVERYTHING I put my mind to. In December, I will have a degree. In the next few years, I will have straight teeth. I have a wonderful job (for anyone at my age and skill level). I have a cute car that is ages above my previous vehicles. I am ALWAYS advancing in life, and I have no intentions of stopping now. I do not give up on anything (except people sometimes- they suck). I am not finished until I have completed my goal. I will be great. My face will be in a business magazine one day.
This round is going to be hard. I know that- but I also know myself very well. If I didn't know I could handle this, I wouldn't have started. My schedule is packed, as always, but we all know that I handle myself better with a full schedule. It's a lot easier not to munch out of boredom when you don't have time to be bored.
Stepped on the scale this morning. 190lbs. What a perfect way to motivate myself to stop now. I have been slowling easing up to the top of the 180s for the past month. I'm done now. That's enough. I did NOT fight this hard to lose.
One day, in the not incredibly distant future, I may decide that I want children. When that happens, I want my body to be prepared for it. There are so many things that can go wrong with the mother is overweight. I will minimize my chances of having a complicated pregnancy (again, in the distant future) by getting to an ideal weight. On top of that- I will have cute pregnancy pictures one day. I will have children who eat right, because they never knew how to eat wrong. I will win this fight, because I don't know how to lose, and I firmly believe (with everything in life) that you absolutely cannot fail unless you give up.
So, today is Day 1. Not Day 1 of Round Whatever. Today is Day 1 of the rest of my life. I got this.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Catching Up
After posting my blog on Monday, I finally used the Gazelle that's been in the closet since a yard sale from last fall. I watched Grey's Anatomy while using the Gazelle. I'm going to have to pull up some instructional YouTube videos or something though, because I didn't even break a sweat.
The Gazelle made me a little overconfident though. Next, I pulled out the yoga mat and the Yoga for Fitness video that Rob bought me for Christmas. There are 4 things that I learned from the 5 minutes of that video that I made it through.
1. There is a reason that the woman doing the yoga does not tell you how to do yoga as she's doing it. She can't breathe.
2. I probably should start with some Yoga for Beginners. I can barely do a push up, holding myself up for long periods is out of my capabilities.
3. I should stretch more.
4. It does not matter how hard I try, I cannot touch my right knee to my left elbow while holding my body up with my arms.
So, after the yoga fail, I pulled out my exercise ball and did some sit ups on it- probably around 50 or so. Enough to make it hurt.
That was Monday. Tuesday, I took Rob to work and went to the workout room for our apartment complex. I stayed on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes, and the stationary bike for 20 minutes. There is no better motivation for staying on an elliptical than telling yourself this: "You did this when you where 270 lbs. If you can't do it now, we have a bigger problem." If I could go back in time, I would thank my super-fat self for being such a hardass.
Last night, I tossed and turned all night. I kept having stupid work dreams (just build one more load). At one point, Rob woke up and told me to get off of him if I was going to keep rolling around and groaning so loudly. I woke up this morning, and I went right back to bed. I slept a little better, but not much. I've been at work since 11:45.
The point: Today, I was 186 again. I'm pretty proud of myself. I cannot be satisfied by that, but it feels good to know that when I try, I really can control my weight.
The Gazelle made me a little overconfident though. Next, I pulled out the yoga mat and the Yoga for Fitness video that Rob bought me for Christmas. There are 4 things that I learned from the 5 minutes of that video that I made it through.
1. There is a reason that the woman doing the yoga does not tell you how to do yoga as she's doing it. She can't breathe.
2. I probably should start with some Yoga for Beginners. I can barely do a push up, holding myself up for long periods is out of my capabilities.
3. I should stretch more.
4. It does not matter how hard I try, I cannot touch my right knee to my left elbow while holding my body up with my arms.
So, after the yoga fail, I pulled out my exercise ball and did some sit ups on it- probably around 50 or so. Enough to make it hurt.
That was Monday. Tuesday, I took Rob to work and went to the workout room for our apartment complex. I stayed on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes, and the stationary bike for 20 minutes. There is no better motivation for staying on an elliptical than telling yourself this: "You did this when you where 270 lbs. If you can't do it now, we have a bigger problem." If I could go back in time, I would thank my super-fat self for being such a hardass.
Last night, I tossed and turned all night. I kept having stupid work dreams (just build one more load). At one point, Rob woke up and told me to get off of him if I was going to keep rolling around and groaning so loudly. I woke up this morning, and I went right back to bed. I slept a little better, but not much. I've been at work since 11:45.
The point: Today, I was 186 again. I'm pretty proud of myself. I cannot be satisfied by that, but it feels good to know that when I try, I really can control my weight.
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