WOOT WOOT!
This... days like today... this is why I do this.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
168.2
When I started this round, there were a couple of changes that I wanted to make that I have made, and a couple that I haven't.
Good:
I have not been cooking my food side by side with Rob's.
I have been writing my weight daily.
I have been staying away from diet sodas.
I have been drinking a lot of water.
Bad:
I have not written my reasons for weight loss on the fridge or the calendar.
I have not been notifying my blog of my bad days.
So, I have two index cards in front of me, which I will write my reasons for weight loss on as soon as I am done- one for the fridge, and one for the bathroom.
I had a bad day on Saturday. I did not cheat per-say, but I had a bad day. Twice on this round, I have been out with Rob and his co-workers to pizza places. Both times, I had a salad. The second time (Saturday), I could have eaten the whole damn pizza by myself. I wanted that stupid thing more than I wanted most things (on a short term scale of course). I talked myself through it and ordered a salad, but the salad was huge and I ate every bite of it. I also put some "fat free Italian dressing" on it that was most likely not approved. Earlier in the day, we ate at IHOP where I had an omelette. I want to note that I have never had issues with the omelette unless I combined it with something stupid (like I did on Saturday).
So, I'm back on schedule now, and hopefully, tomorrow when I wake up, I will be the smallest I have ever been as an adult. I ate a hamburger patty (with some GV salsa and mustard) for 'breakfast' or lunch or whatever... and I ate strawberries for a snack twice tonight.
Something I've learned with hCG: If your heart isn't in it, and your mind isn't made up, you're bound to fail. If there is any doubt in your mind about you finishing, you will allow yourself to quit. For me, usually once I get started, there's no choice anymore. Occasionally, there has been, and I've failed, but for the most part, my mindset never changed. 140 is the goal. 140 is the end. Until then, this is not an option.
On that note: Rachel stopped this round of hCG on Saturday (towards the end of my very bad day). Once again, it's me, myself, and I.
My note card reasons:
Good:
I have not been cooking my food side by side with Rob's.
I have been writing my weight daily.
I have been staying away from diet sodas.
I have been drinking a lot of water.
Bad:
I have not written my reasons for weight loss on the fridge or the calendar.
I have not been notifying my blog of my bad days.
So, I have two index cards in front of me, which I will write my reasons for weight loss on as soon as I am done- one for the fridge, and one for the bathroom.
I had a bad day on Saturday. I did not cheat per-say, but I had a bad day. Twice on this round, I have been out with Rob and his co-workers to pizza places. Both times, I had a salad. The second time (Saturday), I could have eaten the whole damn pizza by myself. I wanted that stupid thing more than I wanted most things (on a short term scale of course). I talked myself through it and ordered a salad, but the salad was huge and I ate every bite of it. I also put some "fat free Italian dressing" on it that was most likely not approved. Earlier in the day, we ate at IHOP where I had an omelette. I want to note that I have never had issues with the omelette unless I combined it with something stupid (like I did on Saturday).
So, I'm back on schedule now, and hopefully, tomorrow when I wake up, I will be the smallest I have ever been as an adult. I ate a hamburger patty (with some GV salsa and mustard) for 'breakfast' or lunch or whatever... and I ate strawberries for a snack twice tonight.
Something I've learned with hCG: If your heart isn't in it, and your mind isn't made up, you're bound to fail. If there is any doubt in your mind about you finishing, you will allow yourself to quit. For me, usually once I get started, there's no choice anymore. Occasionally, there has been, and I've failed, but for the most part, my mindset never changed. 140 is the goal. 140 is the end. Until then, this is not an option.
On that note: Rachel stopped this round of hCG on Saturday (towards the end of my very bad day). Once again, it's me, myself, and I.
My note card reasons:
- Rob, and my future with him
- Hunter, Davin, Awnika
- I will have worked very hard for a degree. What does that mean if I don't live long enough to pay it off?
- Elizabeth.
- My heart
- My chance of future diabetes
- My knees
- My clothes
- My body is God's temple. It belongs to Him, and I should take care of His things.
- Every picture I've ever taken with a double chin
Thursday, December 6, 2012
168.8
So, I slept until 1300 or so, and weighed myself as soon as I got up. It said 168.8. I weighed myself an hour later after watching the Walking Dead (not having drank anything or eaten anything) and it said 169.6. Either way, I'm perfectly happy, but I always get on and off the scale a few times for validity, so it irritates me that my scale does this. :-p
Measurements coming soon. They're written down in my car right now, and I'm in a bathrobe, so you'll have to wait.
Measurements coming soon. They're written down in my car right now, and I'm in a bathrobe, so you'll have to wait.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
171.2 -Funny Thing about Stress
It makes you see the world in a different light.
So yesterday, Rachel was not answering my texts, and Rob did not call me to say goodnight. Today, I learned that Rachel's phone is broken, and Rob called me, but it did not ring on my side... but you can image how I felt last night.
I have been eating an apple a day since I started this round. My first bag of apples was awesome! I really don't like apples usually, but that bag of apples was freaking delicious. I ran out and got a new bag last night. The new bag sucks. It reminds me why I don't like apples. Also, strawberries suck in the winter, but even winter strawberries are better than less that awesome apples.
I think that's probably how Rob feels about mangoes. He's practically obsessed with them. Every time we go to a market, he gets 2 or 3. He tries them each, almost always deciding they are crap and throwing them away. I couldn't understand why he kept buying them. It makes sense now: because once in a blue moon, you get an apple that is freaking delicious, and it makes the hunt worth it. Personally, I still have never found a mango that I thought was good. His taste buds may just be jacked up.
I'm doing something a little dangerous when I get off work this morning. I am going to IHOP to eat a fake egg omelette. They have these "Fit-Veggie Omelettes" that have like 200 calories. They're made with fake eggs, spinach, tomatoes, and mushrooms. They're very filling. I've had them before on the diet, and I'm pretty sure they are hCG approved. I don't think they've caused problems in the past. I'll let you know. Seriously though- I have not drank a Diet Coke. I have not eaten any eggs so far (fake or real). I have not eaten cottage cheese. I have not put milk in my coffee (I have not drank coffee).
Tomorrow is a big day for me. I have that big stupid Financial Resources exam (which my professor did not prepare us for, but I think/hope I prepared myself for). After the test, I have to take my car to Hyundai, because I bought it in February, and it's making a horrible clicky noise (which Daddy says is no bueno). Then I have to go to a counselor (which my gyno says it will make my life easier).
A couple of notes: I started this round of hCG on 11/25 and planned to stop on 12/25. I am supposed to eat NO starch/sugar for 2 weeks after I stop. It's Christmas. Do we see how this is going? I'm going to stop on the 22, and give myself 3 days (22,23,24) of NO starch/sugar. On Christmas, I will be very careful about it, but I'm not pretending that I won't have a small slice of pie. After Christmas, I will go back to no starch/sugar until New Year's Eve- when it probably won't matter because I'll puke it all up anyway. That is 16 more days of this diet... which is at least 10 more lbs that I can expect to lose. Goal for Christmas- no rolls. One roll means >6 rolls in my world. No freaking rolls.
hCG- the one thing I have complete control over in my life. It gave me control of my weight, my health, and my future. I can't tell you how relieved that makes me- even now, when I'm still 30 lbs away from being healthy.
So yesterday, Rachel was not answering my texts, and Rob did not call me to say goodnight. Today, I learned that Rachel's phone is broken, and Rob called me, but it did not ring on my side... but you can image how I felt last night.
I have been eating an apple a day since I started this round. My first bag of apples was awesome! I really don't like apples usually, but that bag of apples was freaking delicious. I ran out and got a new bag last night. The new bag sucks. It reminds me why I don't like apples. Also, strawberries suck in the winter, but even winter strawberries are better than less that awesome apples.
I think that's probably how Rob feels about mangoes. He's practically obsessed with them. Every time we go to a market, he gets 2 or 3. He tries them each, almost always deciding they are crap and throwing them away. I couldn't understand why he kept buying them. It makes sense now: because once in a blue moon, you get an apple that is freaking delicious, and it makes the hunt worth it. Personally, I still have never found a mango that I thought was good. His taste buds may just be jacked up.
I'm doing something a little dangerous when I get off work this morning. I am going to IHOP to eat a fake egg omelette. They have these "Fit-Veggie Omelettes" that have like 200 calories. They're made with fake eggs, spinach, tomatoes, and mushrooms. They're very filling. I've had them before on the diet, and I'm pretty sure they are hCG approved. I don't think they've caused problems in the past. I'll let you know. Seriously though- I have not drank a Diet Coke. I have not eaten any eggs so far (fake or real). I have not eaten cottage cheese. I have not put milk in my coffee (I have not drank coffee).
Tomorrow is a big day for me. I have that big stupid Financial Resources exam (which my professor did not prepare us for, but I think/hope I prepared myself for). After the test, I have to take my car to Hyundai, because I bought it in February, and it's making a horrible clicky noise (which Daddy says is no bueno). Then I have to go to a counselor (which my gyno says it will make my life easier).
A couple of notes: I started this round of hCG on 11/25 and planned to stop on 12/25. I am supposed to eat NO starch/sugar for 2 weeks after I stop. It's Christmas. Do we see how this is going? I'm going to stop on the 22, and give myself 3 days (22,23,24) of NO starch/sugar. On Christmas, I will be very careful about it, but I'm not pretending that I won't have a small slice of pie. After Christmas, I will go back to no starch/sugar until New Year's Eve- when it probably won't matter because I'll puke it all up anyway. That is 16 more days of this diet... which is at least 10 more lbs that I can expect to lose. Goal for Christmas- no rolls. One roll means >6 rolls in my world. No freaking rolls.
hCG- the one thing I have complete control over in my life. It gave me control of my weight, my health, and my future. I can't tell you how relieved that makes me- even now, when I'm still 30 lbs away from being healthy.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
172.2
UUUUUGHHHH
That's about all I can muster up for this post. I have a test on Wednesday, a final on Monday, and another final next Wednesday. Kinda stressed. I have not cheated. I have done everything I should be doing.
AND Rob did not call me to tell me goodnight... he always calls to tell me goodnight.
That's about all I can muster up for this post. I have a test on Wednesday, a final on Monday, and another final next Wednesday. Kinda stressed. I have not cheated. I have done everything I should be doing.
AND Rob did not call me to tell me goodnight... he always calls to tell me goodnight.
Monday, December 3, 2012
172.0
It's funny how the ups and downs can get to you. I can lose 2 lbs one day, then .5 the next, and I'll still be a little sad about the .5, because I expected a whole pound.
I've noticed that I had a couple of rounds that were a bust. I am just now close to the weight I was at when I finished the last round. That's kind of sad, but again, we do not focus on fall backs. I am expecting to do one more round after this one to get to 140 lbs. There was a time when I would just dream that I could get there on this one. I may get as close as I can, but I cannot realistically expect to lose 32 lbs in 22 days. I'm not comfortable expecting 22 lbs in 22 days anymore. I'll hope for the best, and expect to get down to 162 or so. I think the last round was a bust because I didn't observe my "no starch, no sugar" rule. I used to hold my ending weight much better when I did that.
I went back through and read my complete blog. That's always exciting, and it almost always makes me cry. One of the things that stuck out was, "It seems like forever, but one day it will seem like forever ago." That comment seems like forever ago, along with the weight that accompanied it. One day, today, 172 lbs, will seem like forever ago.
I was at my brother's house the other day for the boys' birthday party. They had made deer chili for dinner, and everyone ate some before they all had cake. I did not eat any of either, and my grandma asked me why I was still dieting. I tried to explain that I am still overweight, and by most charts, I am still obese.
My legs still touch when I walk.
My belly flab still hangs down, and I still have 2 rolls when I sit.
My bum still goes halfway up my back.
I still have a fat 'roll' on my thigh above my knee that makes it weird to wear shorts. (If you have one, you know what I'm talking about.)
All of these things point to unhealthy. I could be the healthiest person in my family and still be incredibly unhealthy. I didn't point all of these things out during that conversation. I tend to get offensive when people start talking like that. I want to lose weight. I have no idea why people would want to discourage that.
Another thing: People still seem to think that you can go walk for 30 minutes a day and lose weight. If it's that easy, why haven't any of them done it. I am very disinclined to take advice about losing weight from people who aren't at a healthy weight. I love my family, but really? Can't anyone just say, congratulations? Or good luck? I've been doing this for this long, and haven't wound up in the hospital (or ever had an issue that made me feel the need to go). Don't you think that means something?
On that note: Thank you, Mom- for always being on my side... even when I decide to do a round of HCG during the holidays.
I've noticed that I had a couple of rounds that were a bust. I am just now close to the weight I was at when I finished the last round. That's kind of sad, but again, we do not focus on fall backs. I am expecting to do one more round after this one to get to 140 lbs. There was a time when I would just dream that I could get there on this one. I may get as close as I can, but I cannot realistically expect to lose 32 lbs in 22 days. I'm not comfortable expecting 22 lbs in 22 days anymore. I'll hope for the best, and expect to get down to 162 or so. I think the last round was a bust because I didn't observe my "no starch, no sugar" rule. I used to hold my ending weight much better when I did that.
I went back through and read my complete blog. That's always exciting, and it almost always makes me cry. One of the things that stuck out was, "It seems like forever, but one day it will seem like forever ago." That comment seems like forever ago, along with the weight that accompanied it. One day, today, 172 lbs, will seem like forever ago.
I was at my brother's house the other day for the boys' birthday party. They had made deer chili for dinner, and everyone ate some before they all had cake. I did not eat any of either, and my grandma asked me why I was still dieting. I tried to explain that I am still overweight, and by most charts, I am still obese.
My legs still touch when I walk.
My belly flab still hangs down, and I still have 2 rolls when I sit.
My bum still goes halfway up my back.
I still have a fat 'roll' on my thigh above my knee that makes it weird to wear shorts. (If you have one, you know what I'm talking about.)
All of these things point to unhealthy. I could be the healthiest person in my family and still be incredibly unhealthy. I didn't point all of these things out during that conversation. I tend to get offensive when people start talking like that. I want to lose weight. I have no idea why people would want to discourage that.
Another thing: People still seem to think that you can go walk for 30 minutes a day and lose weight. If it's that easy, why haven't any of them done it. I am very disinclined to take advice about losing weight from people who aren't at a healthy weight. I love my family, but really? Can't anyone just say, congratulations? Or good luck? I've been doing this for this long, and haven't wound up in the hospital (or ever had an issue that made me feel the need to go). Don't you think that means something?
On that note: Thank you, Mom- for always being on my side... even when I decide to do a round of HCG during the holidays.
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