When I started this semester, I knew it would be tough. I am enrolled in 17 hours (although 2 are co-op) 6 of those hours are economics courses. 6 are all in one class, and the other 3 are in a computer programs course (ERP/SAP). I'm still working 40 hour weeks with the occasional overtime. I am exhausted. This has been horrible. 3 more weeks, then it's back to normal hell (the typical full time work/school) instead of super hell. If I can make it through this semester... well, that's the hard part. one more month. Just one more- then it's smooth sailing.
I just want to run. I get so overwhelmed sometimes, and I get very depressed. Most of the time, it's when my time of the month affects my emotions a little more than I'm prepared for. I feel like I could just run them off though. I would go running right now if I wasn't alone at work. In fact- I may do some sit-ups and stuff in a few minutes just to try to release some endorphins. I really just wish I had the time to work out or to wake up and have time to go for a run without turning my 6 hours of sleep into 5.
I'm scared to step on the scale because I've been struggling. I got up to 180, and I've been hanging out at around a couple of pounds above that. It makes me sick. I feel like Rob can tell, and that makes me miserable as well. I went to the doctor to have my thyroid tested, and she said it was fine, and that my weight issues may be from my birth control. I wish this problem was only as recent as my birth control.
I'm going to Mexico next week for work (how cool is it that I can say that... like, I'm important enough to my work for them to pay to rush me a passport and to send me to Mexico?!?!), and I'm really hoping there is a work out area in the hotel. I just know if I don't hit the gym soon, I'm going to be back up to 190, and then back to 200. I can't let that happen. The thought of it really makes me want to puke (in a nauseous way... not in a bulimia way) ... but not sick enough to eat a damn salad for dinner instead of the nacho bell grande that I ate because I thought it would make me feel better... now I feel shitty and guilty. :/
My blood pressure is fine. Always. My other numbers are fine. My doc said nothing about sugar levels or anything, so I guess, for the most part, I'm healthy... just fat. Oh--- except for this stupid downstairs problem (without going into icky detail) involving me bleeding when I'm not supposed to. Seriously--- am I old enough for a hysterectomy yet?
So, in roughly 2 weeks (when I'm back from Mexico), I'll be moving to evening shifts. 1400-2200 M-F. I am not excited about working 5 days a week, but I'm beyond excited about sleeping every night and having a regular schedule- no more trying to adjust sleep schedules halfway through the week. Hopefully, that will help with these mood swings, and this weight problem. Sleep fixes everything. I should get some.
