Umm...

I think I was 167.2 this morning.

In 27.2 lbs, I will have met my final goal. I'm so ready to be done with weight loss.

Here's my thoughts/opinions on the matter right now (as I eat my chicken bacon ranch salad from McDonalds, cause that's as healthy as it gets at 0400 on New Year's Eve): yay... I've lost one hundred and some-odd pounds... can I just be done now? Can't I just get to that final weight and stay there? Maybe have to do the occasional 'after holiday cleanse' or something, but be done? It's still very not fair about how much I have to pay attention to what I eat. Sometimes, I don't even think about eating, and other times, I just want to eat all freaking day. Today is an eat-all-day day. I totally had mac and cheese for lunch/dinner at 8 last night.

2013 is it. Whatever weight I am at the end of 2013 is all I'm losing. I can't be on a diet for the rest of my freaking life, and honestly, there's no reason that I can't lose the last 27 lbs before summer even. Weight loss has become my life, and I'm sick of it. I'm ready to start my new life as a healthy person... I'm so done with this. Finish strong- then be done.

Sometimes, I don't blog for periods of time because I'm so stinkin sick of talking about it.

"Are you allowed to eat that?" "Are you dieting right now?" "I thought you weren't supposed to..." MURRR... shut up.



SOOOOOO On a completely unrelated note: I want a tattoo.

Let me defend myself first, although it's not necessary. I'm a grown up, and supposedly, I don't have to tell people my reasons, but this is kind of fun.

My mom is my best friend. She's the one person who is always on my team. When people said I wouldn't go back to school, that I wouldn't finish. When people said that hCG was bad for me. When people thought it was just another fad diet. When I wanted to play softball, even though I sat on the bench cause Lanny Rice was still the coach. When I quit softball after years of playing, because for some reason, I felt like God told me to. When I had to call off a wedding, and she said, "I can make it all go away in 24 hours", all I had to say was, "I need you to make it go away." When I got a Pit Bull because I was scared to live alone. When I fell in love way faster than 'normal' and all she wanted to know was who made me so happy. When I found out about my other half-brother, and our 'new family'. When my Granny Shirley died, and Rob couldn't go to the funeral...

As a child, and as an adult, my momma has been best friend. She has always been there for me, in ways that nobody else could.

Mom and I used to get into the famous "I love you more" debates. The conclusion was always that she loves me more, because her heart is bigger. Keep in mind, that started when I was a child, and as a grown up, her heart was obviously larger than mine. To this day though, I let her win that argument but, "Only cause your heart's bigger."

Here is the tattoo that I want:

The idea is to get matching tattoos. Hers would be the same, except that it would say, "Only cause my heart's bigger"

The only real dilemma I have is whether to write it like we would say it (which is how it is in the picture) or whether to do it in a more grammatically appropriate way of, "Only because your heart is bigger"

That may be a stupid thing to contemplate, but I think I would have more issues with the southern grammar permanently on my body than I would have with it being worded in a official sounding tone.

Post Christmas Steak Day

This morning: 169.2

I made a steak for diner tonight.

I also went ahead and made another one for tomorrow.

Day 2- No starch, no sugar.

I don't want to type this, but admitting there is a problem is the first step to fixing it, right?

So, I stopped the pills,waited 2 days, and started no starch no sugar. Yesterday, I had an omelette, some buffalo chicken, some fake eggs (I think they're egg whites with food coloring) with turkey sausage in them, and some popcorn. I guess popcorn is starchy. I didn't realize that, or I pretended it wasn't in my brain or something. Saturday morning (before I started NSNS) I weighed in at 162.0. I stepped on the scale this morning... 166.0. I don't even want to type that. I keep thinking, "I have no idea how that happened." It was the popcorn. Duh. So, I should have done a steak day today, but I was not prepared to, so I've just been really careful. I had some leftover buffalo chicken (I got the recipe off Pinterest. Crockpot. AWESOME!), a salad, and I just ate a cheddar-worst-thingy with mustard on it and no bun. We'll see where I'm at tomorrow. If it gets worse, I'll deal with it...

I'm already planning on Christmas being a rule-breaking day, and the 26th being a steak day. I'll see how that goes.

For me, this is the hard part. It's easier to follow a ton of rules than a few. I'm not sure why that is.

Oh well. I've got this.

Oh, and in the past couple of weeks, I have made a ton of sweets, and not even tasted any. I'm pretty impressed with that.

HA! I'm a doofus.

So, this morning (as in Tuesday morning) I went to bed feeling a little hungry. I was already starting to doubt the pills, although I really like the idea of them. Also, if you remember, I had said 120 capsules would last over a round and it advertises loss of 30 lbs with the bottle. So, I read that as half a pound a day because of the 60 day bottle.

I started considering taking an extra pill a day. I figured it might help. I read the back of the bottle (previously, I had read the insert, but obviously, not that clearly) and it says take TWO pills TWICE a day... like- take 4 pills a day. The bottle talks about two pills as a serving, and I just read that as a capsule. On the nutrition table, it says: Serving Size: 2 Capsules. Dur de dur.

It also says I should lose 1-2 lbs a day on the back of the bottle. For some reason, it makes me feel better when it's advertised as a higher weight.

So, maybe I will get down to 159. Maybe.

It should also be noted that I may put off the no starch/no sugar until Christmas Eve and then be VERY cautious on Christmas and up until New Year's Eve (when I fully plan on drinking so much that it didn't matter what I ate that day).

Side note: Next time I chose an accountability partner, make sure it's someone who returns text messages. I'm a firm believer in having battle buddies. Battle buddies return texts and communicate frequently.

My mommy is my battle buddy... and she celebrates every pound with me.

Also, I totally broke my rule and looked at the reviews on the new hCG before I finished this round. It has 4 out of 5 stars based on 287 reviews. I did well. :)

163.0

... and this... is the smallest I've ever been.


 

Shout out to Mommy, who celebrates every single pound with me. :)

164.2

Same weight today. I'm okay with that, I guess. I was really hoping for 159 by the end of this, but even so, I can't pretend that I won't be back at 162 by Christmas, so it doesn't matter really. The point is to continue until Friday, and be as careful as possible over Christmas until I can start back up again. :)

I'm still excited. I'm also interested in seeing if the hCG Activator really will work. Normally, I research products better before I purchase them, but I was desperate.

To do list for tonight:
Christmas cards.
Go pick up some bottled water.

That's pretty much it.

164.2- Correction: This is the smallest I have ever been

I'll probably keep this whole "smallest I've ever been" thing up for a while. :)

I got a new hCG- that should be mentioned. I got it from GNC, because I ran out of the kind I was using (hCG Platinum, that I have no idea where I got). I'm now using an hCG Activator. If you recall, I had been looking for something like this- something that made my body produce more hCG (other than a baby) instead of my trying to get my hands on prego lady piss.

This stuff is pills. There are 120 pills in a bottle for $60, and you are supposed to take 2 a day. The bottle only claims that you will lose half a pound a day, but I'll see how accurate that is. Disclaimer: I did not read the reviews for this product, and I won't. Homeopathic hCG worked for me until I read the reviews, and it messed with my mind. I'm finishing this durn round first, and if it works, I'll use it again. This bottle could very well get me down to 140lbs. I'm so excited.... 24 lbs to go... You know what? I'm going to make a ticker. :)

I have 5 days left of this. I wonder if I can get down to 159... I guess we'll see. :) I didn't have really high hopes for this round, and my heart wasn't in it until I started. Every day leading up to day 1 of the VLCD I was wishing I didn't have to do it, and I was not wanting to follow through. I did it because I needed to. I did it because I didn't want to start 2013 in a barely different spot from what I started 2012 in. I wanted accomplishments. So, even though I didn't want to do this round, I just did it. I put on my big girl panties and did the diet without cheating. Granted, this round will only be 28 days, but seriously, I've lost so far 22lbs over these 22 days.

The thing I'm really curious about is this: can I (on hCG Activator instead of some other form of hCG) go back to the VLCD on January 6th instead of waiting forever? If I just take a couple of weeks off for the holidays will that be enough? (Also, I say holidays in reference to Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year's Eve, and New Year's Day. I am not one of those people who calls Christmas "the holidays" to keep from offending non-believers, and for the record: Rob calls it Christmas too.)

So, if anyone gets bored at work, and can tell me if it's safe to start back up on hCG [Activator] before my wait time is up, I would be happy to have that information. I will not look it up for fear of accidentally seeing a bad review and tarnishing my opinion of the product I have already purchased. If you look it up for me, a simple "yes" or "no" will work fine.

FYI: I started 2012 at 197 lbs. I just looked it up. So, even at 186, I made progress, although, now, I've made some serious progress.


<3 you!

The Smallest I've Ever Been (on record, as an adult)- 167.2

WOOT WOOT!

This... days like today... this is why I do this.

168.2

When I started this round, there were a couple of changes that I wanted to make that I have made, and a couple that I haven't.

Good:
I have not been cooking my food side by side with Rob's.
I have been writing my weight daily.
I have been staying away from diet sodas.
I have been drinking a lot of water.

Bad:
I have not written my reasons for weight loss on the fridge or the calendar.
I have not been notifying my blog of my bad days.

So, I have two index cards in front of me, which I will write my reasons for weight loss on as soon as I am done- one for the fridge, and one for the bathroom.

I had a bad day on Saturday. I did not cheat per-say, but I had a bad day. Twice on this round, I have been out with Rob and his co-workers to pizza places. Both times, I had a salad. The second time (Saturday), I could have eaten the whole damn pizza by myself. I wanted that stupid thing more than I wanted most things (on a short term scale of course). I talked myself through it and ordered a salad, but the salad was huge and I ate every bite of it. I also put some "fat free Italian dressing" on it that was most likely not approved. Earlier in the day, we ate at IHOP where I had an omelette. I want to note that I have never had issues with the omelette unless I combined it with something stupid (like I did on Saturday).

So, I'm back on schedule now, and hopefully, tomorrow when I wake up, I will be the smallest I have ever been as an adult. I ate a hamburger patty (with some GV salsa and mustard) for 'breakfast' or lunch or whatever... and I ate strawberries for a snack twice tonight.

Something I've learned with hCG: If your heart isn't in it, and your mind isn't made up, you're bound to fail. If there is any doubt in your mind about you finishing, you will allow yourself to quit. For me, usually once I get started, there's no choice anymore. Occasionally, there has been, and I've failed, but for the most part, my mindset never changed. 140 is the goal. 140 is the end. Until then, this is not an option.
On that note: Rachel stopped this round of hCG on Saturday (towards the end of my very bad day). Once again, it's me, myself, and I.

My note card reasons:

• Rob, and my future with him
• Hunter, Davin, Awnika
• I will have worked very hard for a degree. What does that mean if I don't live long enough to pay it off?
• Elizabeth.
• My heart
• My chance of future diabetes
• My knees
• My clothes
• My body is God's temple. It belongs to Him, and I should take care of His things.
• Every picture I've ever taken with a double chin

168.8

So, I slept until 1300 or so, and weighed myself as soon as I got up. It said 168.8. I weighed myself an hour later after watching the Walking Dead (not having drank anything or eaten anything) and it said 169.6. Either way, I'm perfectly happy, but I always get on and off the scale a few times for validity, so it irritates me that my scale does this. :-p

Measurements coming soon. They're written down in my car right now, and I'm in a bathrobe, so you'll have to wait.

170.8

Slowly going down. I got this.

171.2 -Funny Thing about Stress

It makes you see the world in a different light.

So yesterday, Rachel was not answering my texts, and Rob did not call me to say goodnight. Today, I learned that Rachel's phone is broken, and Rob called me, but it did not ring on my side... but you can image how I felt last night.

I have been eating an apple a day since I started this round. My first bag of apples was awesome! I really don't like apples usually, but that bag of apples was freaking delicious. I ran out and got a new bag last night. The new bag sucks. It reminds me why I don't like apples. Also, strawberries suck in the winter, but even winter strawberries are better than less that awesome apples.

I think that's probably how Rob feels about mangoes. He's practically obsessed with them. Every time we go to a market, he gets 2 or 3. He tries them each, almost always deciding they are crap and throwing them away. I couldn't understand why he kept buying them. It makes sense now: because once in a blue moon, you get an apple that is freaking delicious, and it makes the hunt worth it. Personally, I still have never found a mango that I thought was good. His taste buds may just be jacked up.

I'm doing something a little dangerous when I get off work this morning. I am going to IHOP to eat a fake egg omelette. They have these "Fit-Veggie Omelettes" that have like 200 calories. They're made with fake eggs, spinach, tomatoes, and mushrooms. They're very filling. I've had them before on the diet, and I'm pretty sure they are hCG approved. I don't think they've caused problems in the past. I'll let you know. Seriously though- I have not drank a Diet Coke. I have not eaten any eggs so far (fake or real). I have not eaten cottage cheese. I have not put milk in my coffee (I have not drank coffee).

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I have that big stupid Financial Resources exam (which my professor did not prepare us for, but I think/hope I prepared myself for). After the test, I have to take my car to Hyundai, because I bought it in February, and it's making a horrible clicky noise (which Daddy says is no bueno). Then I have to go to a counselor (which my gyno says it will make my life easier).

A couple of notes: I started this round of hCG on 11/25 and planned to stop on 12/25. I am supposed to eat NO starch/sugar for 2 weeks after I stop. It's Christmas. Do we see how this is going? I'm going to stop on the 22, and give myself 3 days (22,23,24) of NO starch/sugar. On Christmas, I will be very careful about it, but I'm not pretending that I won't have a small slice of pie. After Christmas, I will go back to no starch/sugar until New Year's Eve- when it probably won't matter because I'll puke it all up anyway. That is 16 more days of this diet... which is at least 10 more lbs that I can expect to lose. Goal for Christmas- no rolls. One roll means >6 rolls in my world. No freaking rolls.

hCG- the one thing I have complete control over in my life. It gave me control of my weight, my health, and my future. I can't tell you how relieved that makes me- even now, when I'm still 30 lbs away from being healthy.

172.2

UUUUUGHHHH

That's about all I can muster up for this post. I have a test on Wednesday, a final on Monday, and another final next Wednesday. Kinda stressed. I have not cheated. I have done everything I should be doing.

AND Rob did not call me to tell me goodnight... he always calls to tell me goodnight.

172.0

It's funny how the ups and downs can get to you. I can lose 2 lbs one day, then .5 the next, and I'll still be a little sad about the .5, because I expected a whole pound.

I've noticed that I had a couple of rounds that were a bust. I am just now close to the weight I was at when I finished the last round. That's kind of sad, but again, we do not focus on fall backs. I am expecting to do one more round after this one to get to 140 lbs. There was a time when I would just dream that I could get there on this one. I may get as close as I can, but I cannot realistically expect to lose 32 lbs in 22 days. I'm not comfortable expecting 22 lbs in 22 days anymore. I'll hope for the best, and expect to get down to 162 or so. I think the last round was a bust because I didn't observe my "no starch, no sugar" rule. I used to hold my ending weight much better when I did that.

I went back through and read my complete blog. That's always exciting, and it almost always makes me cry. One of the things that stuck out was, "It seems like forever, but one day it will seem like forever ago." That comment seems like forever ago, along with the weight that accompanied it. One day, today, 172 lbs, will seem like forever ago.

I was at my brother's house the other day for the boys' birthday party. They had made deer chili for dinner, and everyone ate some before they all had cake. I did not eat any of either, and my grandma asked me why I was still dieting. I tried to explain that I am still overweight, and by most charts, I am still obese.

My legs still touch when I walk.
My belly flab still hangs down, and I still have 2 rolls when I sit.
My bum still goes halfway up my back.
I still have a fat 'roll' on my thigh above my knee that makes it weird to wear shorts. (If you have one, you know what I'm talking about.)

All of these things point to unhealthy. I could be the healthiest person in my family and still be incredibly unhealthy. I didn't point all of these things out during that conversation. I tend to get offensive when people start talking like that. I want to lose weight. I have no idea why people would want to discourage that.

Another thing: People still seem to think that you can go walk for 30 minutes a day and lose weight. If it's that easy, why haven't any of them done it. I am very disinclined to take advice about losing weight from people who aren't at a healthy weight. I love my family, but really? Can't anyone just say, congratulations? Or good luck? I've been doing this for this long, and haven't wound up in the hospital (or ever had an issue that made me feel the need to go). Don't you think that means something?

On that note: Thank you, Mom- for always being on my side... even when I decide to do a round of HCG during the holidays.

180.6- Very long with lots of jargon

I started reading "Pounds and Inches" again last night (I've started it before, but never made it far, and I relied entirely on Rachel's email).

There are some things that I read that I didn't know, or that I used to know, but forgot... refresher courses are always good.

According to Dr. Simeons, 125 I.U. is the maximum dosage (.25 cc according to Simeons). Converted to Homeopathic HCG instead of injected HCG (Homeopathic reccommends .5 cc), this converts to about 36-45 drops per day. Link I usually take about 12-15 drops 3 times a day. I stopped counting my drops a long time ago. It's about 3/4 of a dropper full.

While reading, I found this (in a section about what someone's weight should be) and thought of Rachel. I laughed. I thought you might too. "In women it is often necessary to make an allowance for particularly large and heavy breasts."

"All patients must continue the 500 calorie diet for 3 days after the last [dose]." I've skipped that part in the past. It is the part that prevents you from gaining back weight (along with no starch or sugar for 3 weeks).

"When a patient has more than 15 pounds to lose the treatment takes longer but the maximum we give in a single course is 40 injections, nor do we as a rule allow patients to lose more than 34 lbs. (15 Kg.) at a time. The treatment is stopped when either 34 lbs. have been lost or 40 injections have been given. The only exception we make is in the case of grotesquely obese patients who may be allowed to lose an additional 5-6 lbs. if this occurs before the 40 injections are up." I used to be in that category, but I do not believe I am anymore. This leads me to believe that I can expect to lose no more than 34 lbs this round. I also used to think that the cycles were either 23 days or 40 days. This makes me believe that you can stop in between the 2 and not have adverse effects.

Also, I frequently feel hungry and stop losing weight around day 35. Per the book: "In those comparatively rare cases in which signs of immunity develop before the full course of 40 injections has been completed-say at the 35th injection- treatment must be stopped at once, because if it is continued the patients begin to look weary and drawn, feel weak and hungry and any further loss of weight achieved is then always at the expense of normal fat. This is not only undesirable, but normal fat is also instantly regained as soon as the patient is returned to a free diet." It goes on to say that you can skip a day a week to delay immunity.


"A protein-deficient diet makes the body retain water."

Specific Diet:


Breakfast: Tea or coffee in any quantity without sugar. Only one tablespoonful of milk allowed in 24 hours. Saccharin or Stevia may be used.

Lunch: 100 grams of veal, beef, chicken breast, fresh white fish, lobster, crab, or shrimp. All visible fat must be carefully removed before cooking, and the meat must be weighed raw. It must be boiled or grilled without additional fat. Salmon, eel, tuna, herring, dried or pickled fish are not allowed. The chicken breast must be removed from the bird. (There is no telling how many times I've unknowingly eaten other parts of the chicken) One type of vegetable only to be chosen from the following: spinach, chard, chicory, beet-greens, green salad, tomatoes, celery, fennel, onions, red radishes, cucumbers, asparagus, cabbage. (Green peppers? I eat them all the time on the diet.)
One bread stick (grissino) or one Melba toast. (Maybe it's because our toast is different in America, but this stuff makes you gain weight)
An apple or a handful of strawberries or one-half grapefruit.


The fruit or the bread stick may be eaten between meals instead of with lunch or
dinner, but not more than than four items listed for lunch and dinner may be eaten
at one meal.


Dinner : The same four choices as lunch.

"In fact, the patient should drink about 2 liters of these fluids per day."


"Every item in the list is gone over carefully, continually stressing the point that no variations other than those listed may be introduced. All things not listed are forbidden, and the patient is assured that nothing permissible has been left out. The 100 grams of meat must he scrupulously weighed raw after all visible fat has been removed. To do this accurately the patient must have a letter-scale, as kitchen scales are not sufficiently accurate and the butcher should certainly not be relied upon. Those not uncommon patients who feel that even so little food is too much for them, can omit anything they wish."




Unapproved fish are: all those species such as herring, mackerel, tuna, salmon, eel, etc., which have a high fat content, and all dried, smoked or pickled fish.


"When local conditions or the feeding habits of the population make changes necessary it must be borne in mind that the total daily intake must not exceed 500 calories if the best possible results are to be obtained, that the daily ration should contain 200 grams of fat-free protein and a very small amount of starch."


"Very occasionally we allow egg - boiled, poached or raw - to patients who develop an aversion to meat, but in this case they must add the white of three eggs to the one they eat whole. In countries where cottage cheese made from skimmed milk is available 100 grams may occasionally be used instead of the meat, but no other cheeses are allowed." EWWW- Raw eggs?

"After the fourth or fifth day of dieting the daily loss of weight begins to decrease to one pound or somewhat less per clay, and there is a smaller urinary output. Men often continue to lose regularly at that rate, but women are more irregular in spite of faultless dieting. There may be no drop at all for two or three days and then a sudden loss which reestablishes the normal average. These fluctuations are entirely due to variations in the retention and elimination of water, which are more marked in women than in men."

Six apples in one day while drinking a minimum amount of water can be used to break up a plateau of 4-6 days.

"Oral contraceptives may be used during treatment." I've been curious about this one.

Water retention can be caused by a sunburn, a common cold, or overexertion.

Some things I noticed while reviewing the original email that got me started:
"Make sure you drink 1/2 to 1 gallon of water every day." That's only 2 bottles of water. That sounds much more attainable than the 8 that I had thought before. Obviously, water is muy importante, but I think being sure to drink some is easier than trying to force yourself to drink a ton.

Signs of obesity: "Common clinical symptoms which are indicative only in their association and in the
frame of the whole clinical picture are: frequent headaches, rheumatic pains
without detectable bony abnormality; a feeling of laziness and lethargy, often both
physical and mental and frequently associated with insomnia, the patients saying
that all they want is to rest; the frightening feeling of being famished and
sometimes weak with hunger two to three hours after a hearty meal and an
irresistible yearning for sweets and starchy food which often overcomes the patient
quite suddenly and is sometimes substituted by a desire for alcohol; constipation and a spastic or irritable colon are unusually common among the obese, and so are menstrual disorders."

"Great Value Crushed Tomatoes do not have sugar, and are acceptable on the diet."


This was supposed to be an optimistic post, but I tried to eat my dinner.

For lunch- I made chicken soup with green peppers, tomato, onion, and water. I added seasonings, and it was mediocre, but edible. I made the same meal for dinner, except it had hamburger meat in it instead of chicken. Half of the bowl of soup is still sitting beside me. I can't eat it. I just can't. Every time I swallow, I get nauseous. I moved it out of my sight. I ate an apple after lunch and before diner.

I weighed 184.8 this morning... after Thanksgiving and stuff.
I've drank 2 bottles of water since I got to work.

I'm pulling a bunch of overtime at work this week (for Amazon), and I'm already feeling the pessimism setting in. I'm nowhere close to giving up, but I probably won't finish that soup.

Motivation

Fallback

My lowest weight: 169.4 lbs

My weight this morning: 180 lbs

Lets talk about mistakes. I'm not perfect, nobody is. Sometimes, I choose not to dwell on mistakes. I choose to move on, and just start fresh. That will not work right now. There are mistakes I made on my last round that I do not want to make again. I need to point out those mistakes. 

Preparation: When I first started this, I used to prepare my meals ahead of time. I would pre-measure chicken/beef and put it in the freezer to cook later. I did not do that on my last round. I tried (too frequently) to cook my meal when I cooked Rob's. Way too often, that ended up with a little oil in my skillet, or some vegetable that isn't on my list on my plate. I also wasn't entirely prepared to deal with my diet/work schedule.

Motivation: I started off motivated, but at some point, I forgot why I was doing it. I didn't have anything set in place to prevent my motivation from slacking.

Help: I did not have an accountability partner. I wrote my weight on the calendar every day, but that is not enough. On days when I was irritated with my weight, I would not write it down, and some days, I did not even step on the scale. 

Commitment: At some point (when my motivation fell), I started thinking about all of the reasons that the diet wasn't working. I started pointing out flaws in the formula, flaws in the diet plan, and I started doubting my own personal need for the diet. I started adjusting the formula just enough to appease my wants.

Follow up: I stopped blogging about my journey. When I had a bad day, I kept it to myself. When I had a good day, I didn't share it enough. 

I became content. I got to the point where my clothes fit fine. People told me how good I looked. I felt good. It was all enough for me. I was happy with my success. 

Oh... and diet sodas. This is a journey to getting healthy, not a journey to getting skinny. Diet sodas are not healthy (nor are they permitted on HCG). 

Finishing Strong: Prevention

My weight this morning: 180 lbs

My goal weight: 140 lbs

Preparation: I will purchase and pre-measure portions for meals. I will not cook my food in the same skillet as Rob's. I may have Rob feed himself for a month. I will create a schedule (similar to the one I did way back when) to figure out when I will eat, sleep, go to class, and work. I will reread the email that got me started, so I will remember (and abide by) all of the rules that may have slipped my mind.

Motivation: I will make a list on a poster and hang it on the fridge. I will hang another above the scale in the bathroom. I will also post that list on this blog. 

Help: I will text my weight (and the daily change) to Rachel every morning. I will talk to someone when I am struggling. I will not bring Rachel down, and I will not allow her to bring me down. We will lift each other's spirits when needed.

Commitment: I will make the decision in advance to complete this round. I will not tolerate negative behavior from others, or from myself. I will remember that what this diet has done for me, and that it has worked, and therefore, it does work. 

Follow up: I will blog at least once a week including weight and experiences. I will be sure to write when I have ups and when I'm experiencing downs. 

I will not give up. I will not be satisfied with anything less than healthy (140). I will remember that obesity assists in causing heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer, and many more health issues. I will do everything in my power to live as long as I can, and make those years as valuable as possible- for my family, for my friends, and for myself. I will set a positive example for my niece, for my nephews, and for any future children I may have. I will strive to have a healthy body, so when I am ready for a child, my body is ready to provide a safe home for that baby during pregnancy. 

I will drink plenty of water. I will not drink diet sodas or anything else that is prohibited on the diet. I will follow the rules. I will watch HCG work. I will finish this. 

Sunday, November 25th will be the first day of the second to last round of HCG I will be doing. No holding back. I've got this.

I did something silly

First let me tell you why:

My shoulder is seriously jacked up. I have done the whole "rigorous exercises" with my arms- lifting weights, doing push ups, etc- and have had to stop a few weeks in after my shoulder starts hurting. My arms are now saggy with the extra skin/fat that has fallen down since I have started losing weight.

Now I will tell you what:

I bought this- http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001VC16LS/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00

The reviews on this and similar products are very high. My hopes are high.





Also, I did a body wrap today, which may or may not have dissociated some of my celulite.

Current weight. 169.2. I didn't lose any weight on my final 2 weeks of HCG. I guess I'm getting to that point.

Warning: Long Post Ahead

I know that I said I would bask in my success today, and that I would wait to set my final goal, but I'm a little gung hoe right now.

See, I basked in my weight loss all day today. I woke up this morning, and saw the scale (YAY!)

Then I went to work to do my final weigh in for the biggest loser contest. Even the scale at work said 169.4. I lost 12.14% of my body fat, and I won. Then I went to school, where my first class was let out an hour early, and my second was let out 45 minutes early.

I went straight from school to go find a good nail salon that could do my nails on such short notice. When I found one, I decided to go ahead and get a pedicure as well. I've never had one before. It was fun, and the lady made them purple to match my nails. So, now my toes do not look that funky chipped away red color that they are in the picture.

I went online and bought more HCG (because I'm almost out). I bought it from http://www.hcgdropsreal.com - They claim to have the real stuff. I guess we'll see. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to have the real stuff, but I kind of hope they're breaking the law. Link 

I also bought some sandals (that aren't flip flops, so I can wear them to work) online. I'm pretty sure I'm done now... except I think my mom owes me a new outfit... Pretty sure she said she'd buy me one when I first started these shenanigans.

If you remember, when I started the biggest loser contest, my co-worker Joe and I decided to have a little side contest. So, I would have won that today as well, and I could have just gotten $25 from him, but I made him a little wager.

I have always said I would reevaluate myself at 170. I knew it wasn't a healthy weight either, but it was so unfathomable for me when I was 270, that I needed to have that mile marker. I guess this is where I'll tell you my new goal. I will be healthy at 140lbs. It's a perfectly healthy weight for a 5'3" woman. That's 30 pounds left to lose. I could use a little extra motivation for that (even though I'm in the middle of a round of HCG). That brings me back to the wager with Joe- He is heavier than I am, so a "biggest loser" type of contest would give me an advantage. It would be percentages, and I wouldn't have to lose as much weight as he would to lose the larger percentage.

Basically, the rules go like this:

• Double or nothing. Now the loser pays the winner $50.
• Pound for pound. No percentages this time. If we did percentages, I could lose 10lbs and win. I don't want to win just from losing 10lbs.
• Weigh in once a week. This is more about motivation than it is about competition. We'll lose our motivation if we aren't constantly reminded.
• Starting tomorrow and going to October 8th. That's 3 months to lose 30lbs.
• If I lose 30lbs, and he loses 30+lbs, then we tie. Game over. Nobody pays. I have no reason to lose more than 30lbs, so I think that's fair, and I want to help motivate him to at least start getting healthy.

That's pretty much that. Moving on:

I am doing a cellophane wrap in a couple of weeks. I think it's on the 26th, but I've got to call to make sure. It's whenever my round of HCG is over. Basically, it claims that it is a detox process that will help me lose 1-4". I'm not so concerned about the inches, and I definitely don't expect to lose weight from it, but I would like for my fat to be reshaped... if that's possible. I'm expecting it to loosen up my cellulite clumps, so I can lose them more evenly. At the very least, it's going to be fun and girly.

According to the HCG I'm using now, I could do this round for more than 40 days, but the cellophane people won't let me get wrapped while I'm on HCG, so I may just take off for a few days to do the wrap, and jump right back on. The HCG I'm switching to is supposedly pure, so I would become immune to it after 40 days, but I'm not starting it until next week sometime.

A couple of things that I would like to point out at this time:

• My thighs still rub together a little. Not a lot, but some.
• I still have a fat roll that hangs down from my stomach. It's much smaller, and much flatter, but it's still there.
• My arms are very dangly. They are not so full of fat, but they are flabby.
• Pretty much all of my skin is stretchy. Except for my arms and my stomach, my skin doesn't hang down, but it's pretty stretchy everywhere.
• My bum is still very voluptuous. It is still very bubbly, and very... umm... out there.
• I've been wearing the jeans from the back of my closet that never fit.
• I can see my collar bone very clearly.
• I'm pretty sure my ring size has gone from a 10 to a 8. My size 9 ring is too big. I'm not sure what size my previous rings were, but I think they were a 10.

Here we go.

Finish Strong. 

169.4

I could cry right now... seriously... It's a good day. At some point in the not too distant future, I'll reset my goals, but right now, I'm going to bask in this.

I've lost a hundred pounds. Officially.


And final weigh in for the biggest loser contest is this morning. Wish me luck!

174.4

I got this. That is all.

175.8

So, long story short, I'm back at my lowest weight... which means anything from here on is real progress. You spend the first week or so catching back up to what you put back on after your last round. I have a theory on that too... I think you fill up your intestines with about 4-5lbs of food/gross stuff after you come off HCG. You try to maintain your weight, but in the end, I think you're guaranteed to put on 4-5lbs. This last time, I put on more than that. Shame on me... but we only look forward, not backwards. I maintained my weight pretty well at 185ish. Now it's the long haul. I'm in it. I got this.

(Plus, I put a dent in my pretty new car, and I could really use that biggest loser money to fix it.)

I'm thinking that my ultimate goal is 140. Again, I'll look at where I'm at when I hit it, and evaluate what needs to happen for my health, not my appearance. However, I'm not changing my ticker until I hit 170... because I want to see it... and facebook it... and post it all over everything.

A little over 5lbs to go!

176.0 ish

I was down to 175.something, but I'm kind of at the stop/go point, and I wasn't drinking enough water. I've drank a ton of water today... so HA.

I'll let you know how that works out for me.

176.6 or 8... or something

Had my final exams for my first summer session today.... wasn't exactly concerned about what the scale said this morning. :)

177.8

Just FYI.

In 2.8 pounds, I can start playing with my ticker again. :)

Apparently, it works- 179.something

I got up to 188.8 (I think, it may have been a little higher than that... I'll have to log it all on here at some point) during my "gorge days". To be honest, I didn't gorge nearly as much as I used to, and I haven't had any problems. Day 3 (or Hell Day, as I like to call it) is usually the worst. Typically, I plan on staying in bed all day that day. It was fine this time. No big deal.

I'm exhausted- emotionally and physically- but the emotional exhaustion comes from the physical. I realized today that I live my life in 8 hour shifts. The first 8 hours is driving to school, attending class, driving home, and eating a quick lunch. The second is work. The third is sleep. Honestly though, It's uncommon to get 8 hours of sleep. The process of settling down and getting ready for bed, and then the process of waking up (which starts about 0700) cuts out at least an hour and a half of my sleep.

All of that rambling is to say: "I'm exhausted"

Supposedly, you lose more weight when you sleep regularly/enough- which is part of why I chose to go ahead and do this round. I get to sleep every night at the same time right now. That will change at the end of the summer when I go back to my normal shift, but right now, I'm sleeping regularly, even if it isn't enough.

Final weigh in for biggest loser is July 6th. I'm expecting everyone to pig out on the 4th. I won't have a problem with it. This game is mental, and I have a strong brain. My official weigh in for the contest was 193. I'm already down 14lbs. Keep this up, and I'll win it. I got this.

I really believe that I can do anything (within reason) for 40 days.

Vibrationally Charged HCG

Alrighty, so I've been doing a crap ton of research on homeopathic HCG, and I have decided that I don't really trust it. HCG used to work, until the FDA started regulating it. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I do believe in HCG, and I have no idea why they would screw with a good thing. Maybe something about it before the FDA was different, even though it was homeopathic, maybe I didn't take homeopathic HCG. Honestly, I don't remember what the bottle said.

My basic and biased conclusions (once again, my disclaimer: I am not a doctor.):

Homeopathic HCG is diluted to the point that it is unidentifiable underneath a microscope. I do not believe/understand how your body could recognize and use something so insignificant. Homeopathic HCG defines anything diluted by "3X6X12X" or more. 3X means that the HCG has been diluted 3000 times.

Injection HCG, although the most potent, is only available through prescription, and has worse possible side effects. Completely disregarding my fear of needles, injections have risk of infections and blood clots, and you become immune to the HCG much faster. Also, it's incredibly expensive, and you have to visit your doctor all the time. I actually asked my doctor about it, and he refused to prescribe it for me... which is cool, cause I don't do needles anyway.

Vibrational HCG is (as far as I can tell), homeopathic HCG, but way less diluted. The dilution level is 1X. That seems like a lot still, but Simeons said only a minimal amount of HCG was needed, so as long as vibrationally charged HCG still has microscopically recognizable HCG in it, I'm content. (I typed this paragraph before I read what "Vibrationally Charged" means. Essentially, it means that they have "taken the chemical energy of HCG and transferred it into a vegetable glycerin."

I'm still googling, and still learning. The funny thing about the internet is that although there is now a world of information at our fingertips, we cannot usually guarantee the accuracy. Honestly, I kind of feel like it may be a load of hooey too, but I'm optimistic.

I read this and found the below info. I think they use a bunch of big words to throw you off. I'm still not sure it's the same thing, but the website this came from said there are two studies (which they link to) that are double blind with vibrational HCG vs a a placebo.

1.       The direct vibrational charge ("vibrational signature") of 1x diluted, pharmaceutical-grade Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin (HCG) is acquired.
2.       A substrate composed of pure, all-natural, 100% Kosher, USP food grade vegetable glycerine (defined as a tri-polar glycerol) is also acquired.
3.       Using radionic imprinting, the in-phase energetic frequency of the HCG is captured and infused (electrochemically bonded) into the glycerine (see the video here for more details).
4.       Thyroid-stimulating ionic iodine is layered into the blend at a 4000X concentration.
5.       Botanical raw extracts which boost energy and suppress appetite and sugar cravings are layered into the blend. Included are the following:

·         Hoodia Cactus Leaf/Stem (Hoodia gordonii): Appetite suppressor. Excellent weight loss support herb. Used by the San tribe in Africa to suppress appetite while sustaining energy levels.

·         Guarana’ Seed (Paullinia cupana): Strong adrenal stimulant. Natural caffeine content helps increases mental alertness, endurance stimulant, reduce tension headaches.

·         Gymnema Leaf (Gymnema sylvestre) Ayurvedic herb: Makes sugar tasteless, aids insulin production, lowers blood sugars for insulin-challenged individuals.

·         Kelp Thallus (Laminaria digitata): Thyroid stimulant. High in iodine, trace minerals, important minerals like calcium, iron, vitamin C factors, and proteins; helps to reduce oversized thyroid and lymph nodes.

·         Bladderwrack Thallus (Fucus vesiculosus): Thyroid stimulant. High in iodine, trace minerals, important minerals like calcium, iron, vitamin C factors, and proteins; helps to reduce oversized thyroid and lymph nodes.

·         Fennel Seed (Foeniculum vulgare): Reduces gas and abdominal pain, reduces appetite cravings.

·         Gravel Root (Eupatorium purpureum): Diuretic, clears urinary/kidney tract obstructions and inflammations.

·         Black Walnut Hull (Juglans nigra): A high source of iodine and silica, and one of the best known of all anti-parasite detoxifying herbs.

·         Uva-ursi Leaf (Arctostaphylos uva ursi): Strong anti-bacterial and diuretic action that clears and cools kidney/urinary tract inflammations and obstructions.

·         Senna Leaf (Cassia angustifolia): Stimulating laxative action, reduces constipation, cleansing and detoxifying action.

Oh well.... I guess we'll see. :)

Just an Update

I'm staying steady around 183 or so. I went out of town with my parents, and when I came home, I was up to 193, but that came off pretty quickly. I'm considering doing a round of HCG after this semester is over. It would probably do some good.

In my world, maintaining my weight is as big of an accomplishment as losing weight. I can't get down when I haven't lost weight in a while. I'm proud of myself. One step at a time.

I realized some things while I was with my parents on the road. My habits have changed... completely. I have so much more respect for my body now. I have learned to listen to it. Let me explain:

When we used to go out of town, every time we stopped at a gas station, I would eat. I'm not talking about eating a sandwich or a yogurt or something. We would eat at least a candy bar and drink a coke every single time we stopped. Think about it, if you stop 3 times on an 8 hour trip, that's around 1500 calories. That's just not necessary. Get a water. Get a diet coke if you need some flavor. Grab one snack between the 3 times you stop, or bring fruits to snack on. I'm very careful about the amounts/types of sugars that I put into my body.

Another biggie- I don't eat fried crap. I grew up on oil, salt, sugar, and grease. I couldn't tell you the last time that I had a fast food burger. Sometimes, we have burgers at home, but I cook them on my Forman. When we stopped at Popeyes, I had a 2 piece chicken meal, so I'm not flawless, but when we stopped the next day at Bojangles, I had a salad instead. I say all the time, I didn't get fat from eating fried chicken. I got fat from eating 3+servings of fried chicken in one sitting."

We went to a fish fry when we got to my grandpa's house, and it was set up as a buffet. I had 2 pieces of chicken, some hush puppies, and an apple fritter thing. When I finished, my grandpa told me to go get more, and I told him I was done. Let me just say, that's almost offensive in the south, but I'm not eating 3 plates of food to make someone else happy.

I've still got work to do, but I've come a long way, and sometimes, I forget that.





Other health matters (warning: Gyno crap)-

Colposcopy came back bad, and I had to have a LEEP procedure. Long story short, they cut off a chunk of my cervix with an electric wire. They said they got it all. I have to go back in 2 months for a shot, a month after that for another pap, 3 months after that for another shot and another pap around the same time. Thank God for insurance.

When the nurse lady called to say I had to have a LEEP, her exact words were, "Mild Dysplacia." When the official stuff showed up on my online account, it said, "Severely abnormal cells." That's not the same thing. What the hell does severely abnormal mean? My dysplacia was designated as "mild", why are my abnormal cells "severe"?????

Ready? Set? GO!!!

I am a very competitive person. It's a gift and a curse, depending on the day. I hold myself to insanely high standards, and sometimes, that wears me out. This time though, it's a blessing, or at least, I'm going to take it as a blessing.

A group of people at my work decided to do a biggest loser contest. Whoever loses the highest percentage of weight wins. The buy in is $50. Winner takes all. As far as I know, there are currently only 6 people participating. That's a $300 prize.

The idea of the percentage thing is that a 150lb woman who only needs to lose 20lbs should be able to compete, and it has about the same effect as a 200lb woman losing 27lbs. That looks pretty fair to me. It's a little easier for heavier people to lose weight, because there is so much to lose (and because it takes more calories to maintain such a high BMI).

I've got this. The contest is 12 weeks (84 days) long. I'm hoping for 30 lbs. I think that's pretty optimistic, and perfectly doable.

I am not doing this with HCG. I'm doing it with my brain, and my muscles.

Wish me luck!


Oh, and in addition to that, a guy in my group (who isn't sure he wants to play the big game) has specifically decided to compete with me alone for another $25.

I got this.

Rob said I'd gain 10lbs while his grandma was in town

I DIDN'T!!!

I made it through spring break, and I'm still consistently between 181-183.

I had a day where I weighed 186, but I'm pretty sure that was just because chili stopped me up. I've been pretty stopped up lately. I'm trying to drink a bunch of water to get rid of that problem...

And, I'm ragging- not that you wanted to know that, but you should know, because it usually affects my weight.

My gyno lady said that I had to expect to gain back the last 5lbs. I think it has something to do with filling back up your intestines when you don't eat much.

Speaking of the gyno lady- I have to have a LEEP Procedure done, and the people who know what that is won't be in until tomorrow, so some front desk lady called me to set up the appointment, but can't really tell me why exactly I need it or what exactly happens, or how exactly it will affect me. Tomorrow, I get to call up there and talk to someone who isn't a complete moron.

My mother, the wise woman that she is, advised me to see if they will give me a prescription for a single Xanax or something. Here's the thing- I don't handle this kind of thing well. I hyperventilate when I have to get a single shot. They're going to give me three (funny how that seemed to be the only thing the not-so-informed nurse lady knew) in a place where people should never be sticking needles. So, people keep asking me if I'm okay. Medically, I'm probably going to be fine. Mentally- no. I am not okay. I'm kinda freaking out. According to Google, they're going to burn off part of my coochie. So, NO! I AM NOT OKAY!

But I'll be fine.

I do not want to post this

but my blog is my accountability partner, and I would be cheating if I didn't.

My weight is at 183.

I stopped HCG, because I did not see results for a significant amount of time.

I am looking for better ways to lose weight for someone of my size. I do not know that HCG is the best game plan for me anymore. When there is a lot of weight to lose, I truly believe it is helpful, but to be honest, I do not have that much left, and HCG does not seem to be doing what it used to. Part of that could be due to FDA regulations and changes in the formula.

There is a diet plan that is done through my gynecologist's office, but it is VERY expensive, and I'm not prepared to dish out that kind of dough.

I know that eating healthy always and paying attention to what I put in my body is a must, but I still have quite a bit of weight to lose, and I do not consider myself in a maintenance phase yet. I still need to be dropping weight.

I am a person who requires rules.

Without strict rules, wiggle room will be my weakness. I'd rather not have wiggle room.

That is all.

Stalling Out

I'm at 176.4. I've been fluxuating between 175.4 and 177.4 for the past week or so. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be. Drinking diet sodas- probably not good...

I haven't slept much, that's a big deal in weight loss. I need to sleep more... I know.

I am in the middle of midterms, so stress is there.

I am very very tired, and very very sick... I'm on day 32. I'm currently not sure how this round is going to end. I just want to get below 170, but I don't know that I can...

Comparisons

When I first started doing this, these were my measurements:
Bust- 46.5
Arms- 15.75
Waist- 47
Bum- 57
Thighs- 33

My current measurements- taken today:
Bust- 40
Arms- 13
Waist- 37.5
Bum- 46
Thighs- 26.75

Change in measurements from Day 2 to today:
Bust -6.5"
Arms -2.75"
Waist -9.5"
Bum -11"
Thighs -6.25"



Well, that's enlightening.  :-)

175.8

HERE WE GO!!!!

I am SO almost there...

Trying to remember to be patient. Definitely remembering that I'm nowhere close to done done.

Desperately need to take my measurements. I haven't at all this round.

179.8 Still

For those of you who've been keeping up with me, you know that there are good days/weeks and bad days/weeks. This is one is both.

It's great, because my weight is the lowest I can ever remember it being.
It's great because I've hit a major mile marker.

Night before last, I drank probably 8 big bottles full of water at work. That made my weight yesterday go to 183.something. I didn't even write it down, I was so upset. Rob told me it was probably just my body hydrating itself. I drank plenty of water yesterday too, and my weight this morning (as in- 6 oclock this afternoon thanks to my oh-so-awesome schedule) was 179.8 again.

At the very least, I have GOTTA get to 170 by the end of this round. There are still 20 days left, and that shouldn't be a problem, but still... it scares me a little. I'm so freaking close!

I've been re-researching HCG. There's a lot of questions that people ask me about it that I looked up once, but I can't remember anymore. HCG is second nature to me. I don't question if I can eat certain things. I know what I can have, and I know what I can't. I don't have internal battles with myself because I want to eat something I can't. I guess I never really had that problem though.

***Shrug***

OH! So what I learned- Homeopathic HCG is not a hormone (I already knew that). I thought it was the equivalent to a hormone though. It's not. It's a bunch of stuff that causes your body to produce HCG.

INSERT RANDOM THOUGHT! - Mom- I bet the Gyno lady didn't give me a preggo test because she knew my HCG levels would have made it look prego regardless. Probably. Just a thought.

What I was trying to figure out while re-researching was what would happen if I take more HCG pills (which I'm thinking about referring to as HCG creating pills) than the prescribed doseage. Rachel says that your body will dispose of anything you can't use. I bet she's right. She's pretty smart... but I'm trying to find a valid source. Like- what if my body COULD use more HCG than it's currently producing?

Hmmm...

If anyone knows of a vitamin or something that helps with lose skin, let me know. I'll tell you right now that I'm not going to work out... it's just not going to happen. Have you seen my schedule? School-sleep-work-school. I'm not even going to pretend to try to shove a workout in there. I do have a bunch of skin in weird places though, and I vaguely remember the existence of a vitamin that helped with that. I know that women have extra skin after they have babies, and it goes away, but they've been fat for 9 months max. I've been fat for a LONG time. My skin is pretty happy at it's stretchyness. I don't think it's going to shrink much on it's own.

It's not horrible, but I notice it... and my arms jiggle.

CAN YOU SEE IT?!?!?

It's the end! I'm getting there!



Firstly, although 170 was my original goal weight, it is NOT my real goal. I decided on 170, because it was exactly 100 lbs smaller than I was at my biggest. That is a durn good start. I wanted to be able to look at myself at 170, and see where I need to go from there.

I am evaluating my body and my level of health, and I will not declare a new goal weight until I have met this one. I do not want to devalue the impact that losing a hundred pounds will have on me.

As you know, I've been catching up on all of the doctor visits that I have neglected for the past year or so. I went to one about my shoulder- where I had blood drawn, I went to a gynecologist for the first time, and I went to an eye doctor.

I expected my blood test to come back with weird results. I expected them to tell me that my thyroid was jacked up, and I was anemic or something. Turns out, my thyroid cleared the test, and I'm not anemic. However, my blood sugar tested low. This didn't suprise me too much after I thought about it some. I've always gotten headaches when I don't eat. I get shaky and/or light headed as well. This happens more often when I'm not on HCG, so I highly doubt the two are connected.

To be honest, low blood pressure scares the crap outta me. I spent so much time and effort trying to lose weight, so I wouldn't end up with all these health problems, and one of the precursers of diabetes is officially a problem of mine. The nurse called to tell me, and she didn't make a big deal about it, but she did tell me to make sure I'm eating frequently enough.

Completely irrelevant to my weight- I now wear a single contact in my right eye.

Gyno-wise- My gyno lady is also a weight loss lady. Her nurse spent the first 15 minutes of my appointment commending me for my weight loss. I love it when that happens. It makes me remember how important this is. She asked me how it started and how it works. I love sharing my story.

When the real gyno lady came in, she had already spoken to the nurse, and also congratulated me on the weight loss. I went through my family history with her. She told me to drink more water, and that would help with the weight loss. I already knew that of course, but I do forget to drink my water. I don't know why it's so easy for me to remember to take a pill, and remember not to pop stuff in my mouth all the time (that was a hard habit to break), but it's so difficult to make myself drink water. Ugh... so much easier than everything else I do, and so much more helpful.

__________________________________
Now for my complaint. It's pretty rare that I complain about the world on this blog, but I have a serious issue with the way that things work, and I wish there was something I could do to change it.

I went to Denny's last week and ordered a chicken salad. I knew it had nuts and raspberries in it, but I didn't see it to be very difficult to pick them out. When she asked me which dressing I wanted, I looked at my options and picked vinegarette on the side, because my other options were Ranch, Light Ranch, or creamy fat in a bottle.

When I tried the vinegarette, it obviously contained sugar. I can almost understand that. Most people prefer a sweet dressing. I think that's highly impractical, but I can understand.

I started eating around the nuts and raspberries. They were covered in SYRUP! Why? How can you justify selling something as a "healthy option" (and yes, that's the side of the menu it was in) and then cover it in syrup? I almost started crying. The syrup stuff was dripped onto parts of my salad. I did my best to just eat the chicken and the tomatoes.

I cannot for the life of me figure out WHY this is done. Just give me a real healthy option. JUST ONE?!?!? Please? I would be disappointed in that salad even if I was allowed to have sugar. People who eat salads aren't looking for syrup. At Denny's? I would have ordered pancakes! ugh

We ate at Copeland's on Friday night for Valentine's day. There were PLENTY of unhealthy options, but they also offerred a "simply grilled chicken" that didn't have a bunch of extra stuff on it. For the sides, there was a horrible amount of unhealthy things, but they also offered plenty of veggies. I had to special order mine to make sure they weren't cooked in butter, but even that was a better option than coating nuts in syrup.

It's no wonder Americans are fat.

Not a long post- Just a note

I went to the doctor today for the first time since I started losing weight. I stepped on the scale- 184 with jeans and a sweater (usually I wear minimal clothing when I weigh in). That's not what my scale at home says, but I'm okay with that. :)

I went because my shoulder is sore (Doc says it's old wounds from softball... go figure), and ended up getting blood work done while I'm there. I love my new doctor! He's super cool and understanding. My last one was mean and rude and completely unhelpful.

The new doctor didn't say anything bad about HCG. We really didn't talk about it, but I did make sure he is aware of what I am doing to my body. That might be why he requested that I get blood work done, but honestly, I really haven't ever had it done and needed to run a thorough check. I'll let you know if I'm dying. :-)

Oh- and I kinda hyperventilated when they went to put the needle in my arm. Apparently, I did not grow out of that. Ugh.

Day 7 VLCD

So, conveniently enough, I started day one of the very low calorie diet on the first. Much easier to keep up with what day I'm on now.

February 1st- Woke up that morning at 201.8lbs after my three gorge days. If you remember, the first time I did this, I only did two gorge days, and the third day of the VLCD killed me. I went to bed early that night because the stomach pains were too much to handle. I don't have that problem anymore now that I gorge an extra day. I've also noticed that my gorge days aren't like they used to be. Once upon a time- I could eat. A lot. All the time. That's how I try to do gorge days. It doesn't work like that anymore. Now, I just eat really big meals and a few snacks. I munch on stuff when I get the chance, but I don't go to Taco Bell anymore and try to put down a whole $5 box.

Day 2- 199.4- Typical first day 2lb loss.

Day 3- 195.6- That's a 3.8lb loss. Wow.

Day 4- 193.6- Back down to 2lbs a day. Gotta remember, this is the first week, and results are drastic. If you look at my Day -3 number (beginning of first gorge day), you'll see that I put on 4 or 5 lbs in the first 3 days, so why can't I drop it that fast?

Day 5- 189.6- 4lbs in a day again... a little concerned that it could be too quickly, but it's still super cool.

Day 6- 188.2- 1.4lbs- Much more normal.

Day 7- 187.0- 1.2lbs. I think it's regulating itself. The first week is always a little crazy.

Couple of important notes regarding this round of HCG:

I did not schedule this round around my period. I believe the idea of doing this is so you will only have your period once during your 40 days. I expected mine to come around the 10th, so I wasn't concerned about starting right after I got off of it. Instead, I started on the 1st (the app on my phone that I use to keep track of it froze up and I lost all my past saved information) and just got off today. That might have something to do with how I lost 4lbs in a day twice, but I don't know enough about it to tell you if that's a reasonable assumption.

My schedule is all jacked up. You can see it on the last post. Some of my days are quite a bit longer than others, so when I weigh in as soon as I get up, sometimes, it's been 30 hours since my last weigh in, and others it's only been 14 hours. I do what I can to keep everything as regular as possible, but this may be where my weight fluctuations are coming from.

I have been absolutely exhausted for the past week. I have moments where I'm wide awake, and moments where I could fall asleep if I sit down for too long. I do not believe this comes from HCG, or my insane schedule, but the combination of both pushes me a little harder than I had expected. I am pretty sure that as things settle down, I'll be able to get to bed on time and be more alert and stuff.

Muy importante notas- When I first started HCG, it was a little over $40 at GNC for a "2 week supply" that always ended up being about a 12 day supply. It had a very faint taste to it, but it wasn't a bad taste. You put 10 drops under your tongue and held them there as long as possible. You could not eat or drink anything 15 minutes before or after taking the drops. I knew that this brand worked, and I avoided trying any other brands as much as possible. A few months ago, they started selling HCG at Walmart. For the same sized bottle, my brand of HCG was $20 instead of $40. I was stoked, and bought a bottle when I started this round. It tasted like crap. I'm not kidding. I mean, I have no idea what crap tastes like, but it smelled like butt crack and that's what I related the taste to. It was "mint chocolate" flavored, but I have no idea where they got that idea. I used it twice so I wouldn't mess up my regime, and returned it to Walmart the next day (yay for their amazing return policy!).

The same exact brand has a pill form of HCG. Because I needed some type of HCG right then so I wouldn't mess with my schedule, I bought the pills. I didn't really expect them to be as awesome as before, but I needed to get started. I figured I could go to GNC when I had time and pick up the right formula. Apparently, the pills work. You only take them twice a day (instead of the 3x per day with the drops) and there are no restrictions as far as eating/drinking before/after goes. Like the new formula, they smell like butt crack, but they don't have a taste.

Ummm.... I think that's it for now.

I could be in the 170s in a week. ANYONE ELSE EXCITED?!?!?!?!?!??!

My ticker says I'm 17lbs out. I have always said that I would reevaluate my weight at 170 to see where I'm at. I'm almost at that point. My healthy weight is between 107 and 135lbs. I think I'd be happy at 140, but again, I'm reevaluating my body all the time. It's obvious that I still have a ways to go, and I can't even seriously think about if 140 would still feel overweight. I do have a doctor's appointment tomorrow (which is the first one I've had since I started losing weight), and I'll ask for her opinion on the matter.

When I first started this, my BMI was 46.3. It's now 32.1. It should be around 25. I've come a long way.

New Round. Day 1

Today is gorge day 1.

My days and nights are all jacked up from my work schedule, but I'm going to try to pull this off as consistently as possible.

I'm always talking about HCG. It's done wonders for me, and I always want to tell people about it. My grandma used to do this with Advocare, and I never understood why. It's because she believed in it. She believed it could help me, and she wanted the best for me. I feel that way. When people say they want to lose weight, I'm like, "OH MY GOSH!!! TRY HCG! Once you try it, you'll love it!" The thing is, HCG isn't for everyone. Some people are terrified of 500 calories a day, and some people are terrified of unsupervised weight loss attempts. The biggest thing I've learned though, is that some people want to lose the weight, but they don't want to do the work. That's sad. I really can't tell you how hard I tried and how long I tried to lose weight.

The most important thing I've learned is that regiment is necessary. If you just try to fit things in when you can, you won't. "I don't have time" is the easiest excuse. It has to be prevented from the beginning.

Here's my schedule for this semester (Oh- yeah- BACK IN SCHOOL!!! BOIYA!)-

On the nights when I work overnight, I'll bring both of my meals to work with me. I'll eat one around midnight, and the other around 6 a.m. I also bought this Brita water bottle that filters the water as you drink it, so while I'm on campus, I can refill it whenever I need to. :-)

This is going to be good.

This morning's weight- 197lbs.

Almost that time again

I'm bouncing around between 197 and 201 (not a place I'm comfortable bouncing around in). I'm starting up my next round on the 29th. Just a little bit longer. I feel like I did really well managing my weight over the holidays. I know I had planned to work out hard and keep losing weight, but I did not. No excuses, I just didn't.

I hadn't checked my weight until a few days ago and I was really worried about how much I had gained. I just felt bigger. (Paranoia much?)

All's well though. I know I gained a little, but honestly, I'm not going to let myself get upset about 5 pounds. I'm just not.

I'll keep you updated.