Catching Up

After posting my blog on Monday, I finally used the Gazelle that's been in the closet since a yard sale from last fall. I watched Grey's Anatomy while using the Gazelle. I'm going to have to pull up some instructional YouTube videos or something though, because I didn't even break a sweat.

The Gazelle made me a little overconfident though. Next, I pulled out the yoga mat and the Yoga for Fitness video that Rob bought me for Christmas. There are 4 things that I learned from the 5 minutes of that video that I made it through.
1. There is a reason that the woman doing the yoga does not tell you how to do yoga as she's doing it. She can't breathe.
2. I probably should start with some Yoga for Beginners. I can barely do a push up, holding myself up for long periods is out of my capabilities.
3. I should stretch more.
4. It does not matter how hard I try, I cannot touch my right knee to my left elbow while holding my body up with my arms.

So, after the yoga fail, I pulled out my exercise ball and did some sit ups on it- probably around 50 or so. Enough to make it hurt.

That was Monday. Tuesday, I took Rob to work and went to the workout room for our apartment complex. I stayed on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes, and the stationary bike for 20 minutes. There is no better motivation for staying on an elliptical than telling yourself this: "You did this when you where 270 lbs. If you can't do it now, we have a bigger problem." If I could go back in time, I would thank my super-fat self for being such a hardass.

Last night, I tossed and turned all night. I kept having stupid work dreams (just build one more load). At one point, Rob woke up and told me to get off of him if I was going to keep rolling around and groaning so loudly. I woke up this morning, and I went right back to bed. I slept a little better, but not much. I've been at work since 11:45.

The point: Today, I was 186 again. I'm pretty proud of myself. I cannot be satisfied by that, but it feels good to know that when I try, I really can control my weight.

Now.

Yesterday I ate too much. This morning, the scale said 190. Yesterday morning, the scale said 186. A few days before that it was 184. I've been battling 185ish for a while now without putting in any effort further than occasionally eating salads. That's got to stop. I will not go backwards. I will not try to put on last year's new swimsuit and cry. I've said it before that after this year, I'm just maintaining my weight. Let's get that shit under control. Today is the last day I ever plan on seeing 190 on the scale.

Rob and I bought a Gazelle at a yard sale a while back. He has a total gym in his closet. I have no idea how to use a total gym, and I have no desire to lift weights. I'm way more into cardio. I have a tv and a Gazelle. As far as I'm concerned, I could play with those two things for hours, but we'll see.

This week, here is my plan: Get up and take Rob to work at 8. Get home and exercise from 9-11ish. Shower, pick Rob up, and go to work. (His car has a rod knocking- in case I read this later and don't understand.) Next week, school starts back up. I'll take Rob to work, then go to school. I should be home around 11. I'll work out until 12 and quickly shower then pick Rob up to take me to work. That's going to be the hard part, but it's definitely going to be worth it... except that I'm already tired... and a little hung over.... but way more pissed off at myself for eating so much yesterday.